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Chapter 176: Worried



"It\'s okay if Your Highness wants to sleep some more," Ruby said. Ruby\'s eyes were puffy. It seemed she did not sleep enough.

"Did you not sleep, Ruby?" I asked.

"Oh, it\'s nothing, Your Highness," she said quickly with a frail smile. "Please do not worry about me."

I knew what happened. Ruby thought something serious happened to me and surely cried a lot. She did so last time as well. And she surely spent the whole time taking care of me without resting.

"Ruby, don\'t push yourself too much. You need to take care of yourself as well," I said.

Ruby bit her lower lip as if she was suppressing something and then suddenly bent on her knees by the bedside. She laid her head on my lap and started crying suddenly.

"I thought... I thought I would not see Your Highness again!" she cried. "I was scared..."

"Shh, it\'s alright. I am fine, right? I am right here with you. So, don\'t cry," I said, gently patting her head.

"Your Highness was not waking up. His Highness did not leave this room for two days. I told His Highness to take some rest, but he did not listen," she sobbed.

Dem stayed here with me for two days? No wonder he looked as if he had not closed his eyes for a long time.

"We all were worried. Lord Luc brought Doctor Dimitri within ten minutes. All of them tried their hardest... Doctor Dimitri said..."

"What did he say?"

"He said that Your Highness might not wake up," she sobbed. "... It was very... His Highness went to kill the doctor, but Lord Luc stopped him. I really thought..."

"Hey, it\'s alright now. Everything is fine. Calm down, Ruby," I comforted her. She was crying even more. Looking at her like this, my heart ached.

But I was surprised as well. I had never thought someone would cry for me because they were afraid that I would leave them.

It took a while for Ruby to calm down. She wailed for a long time. It looked like she truly was scared that I would never wake up.

But strangely, I did not feel anything.

Death sometimes felt terrifying. But other times, it did not feel much of a thing. It felt very natural and I was not scared.

Strange.

"Your Highness will take care of your health now. And you should not worry about other things. Please just focus on getting better, Your Highness," Ruby said.

"Yes," I nodded. "I will. Now, don\'t cry anymore, alright?"

"Hmm... Yes..."

Perita came to meet me as well. She looked very relieved when she found me speaking comfortably. She had to leave soon as Dem ordered for her to roam around the palace and check everything herself. Dem suspected that someone was following me.

I wondered if he felt the presence of someone as well. I felt like that too a few days ago. But I could not tell him that. He surely felt something as well, or he would not know about it.

"You are awake. How are you feeling?" Luc asked.

I did not even notice him coming in since I was focused on petting the cat Perita brought for me. She said that it was Dem\'s order. Dem did not like cats or other animals much and he hated it more if I wanted to touch them.

But he was now the one who ordered this. I wondered if it was to make me feel better. He was right. The cat\'s company, indeed, made me feel good.

"Ah, yes, I am feeling okay now," I smiled. "Thanks to you, I could be checked by the doctor soon."

"Well, it took a lot of energy to teleport without resting enough. That\'s why you need to pay a price," he said.

"What price?"

"Get me some magical books from King Ford," he whispered.

"Eh?"

"Demetrius told me everything about what happened. And that guy has a point actually and I trust him. There is no reason not to trust him. What he said is not baseless. And besides, he proved it as well by using your power," he said. "You see, you are more powerful than him.

That\'s why he could awaken just a bit of your power. And those who are more powerful among mages can see if the other mage is telling the truth or not in that way. It\'s quite hard to describe since it\'s mostly done using your mind. In our cases, the dust will be white if the result is positive and black if the result is negative. It\'s the opposite for dark mages.

In their case, black is for positive and white is for negative."

"I see..."

"So, King Ford is a dark mage and for now, he is our ally. Then ask him for some books. I want to read a few books about dark mages. They are quite mysterious beings after all. I know he won\'t give me the books that hold their secrets, but the normal ones will do. Ask him for me, alright?"

I sighed and chuckled. "Alright, I will."

"... Really? I missed you," he said and hugged me suddenly.

"Yes, I heard you all tried your best," I said and hugged him back.

It felt kind of good that so many people were worried about me. It was the first time I received this kind of attention and love from others. This unfamiliar feeling almost overwhelmed me.

Doctor Dimitri checked me up again after that. He said that he checked me up last night as well.

"But when?" I asked.

"After Your Highness fell asleep, His Highness summoned me and said that you had woken up," he said. "Your Highness has the same problem again. Someone, anyone will do. Isn\'t there anyone who Your Highness can talk to about everything?"

"... I will try to talk to others," I said.

"No, that is not what I mean, Your Highness," he shook his head gently. "Your Highness, we can talk to anyone if we want to. We do not need to be too comfortable with them for that. But sometimes even if we are comfortable, we cannot share everything with them. Right now, what Your Highness needs is someone to talk to about every little thing. Your Highness understands what I am saying, right?"

"Yes...," I gave a nod. "But you also know what kind of situation I am in."

It was not a question. It would be strange if he did not know. I was a queen. A queen was not supposed to have someone so close to her with whom she could share everything. A queen was not usually close to the king as well. They were married for political reasons mostly.

And besides, kings and queens had their harems and spent time together only when it was a must.

Dem\'s and my marriage was not like that. We loved each other and we did not have any harem. Even the thought of it was disturbing. But even so, it was not possible to share every single thing with him.

A loving husband and a friend to talk to were different. It was very rare that they would be the same.

And everyone knew what kind of person Demetrius was. Even though if someone did not spend much time with him, they would instantly know that he was the type to control. He was a very caring husband, but he was also very possessive.

And sometimes, it was unhealthy.

"Yes, I know very well," the doctor said. "Your Highness, do you know how some kids cure their boredom without moving?"

"... Kids?"

"Yes," he said. "They talk. If they cannot choose a particular person they can trust, they choose an object or an animal."

"Are you saying...?"

What he said made sense. It did not have to be a particular person. Anything was fine- an object or an animal.

"Yes, that is what I mean."

"Then... this cat... Will it be okay?"

"As long as Your Highness thinks you can be comfortable talking to it, it\'s fine. Your Highness just needs to let your heart out," he said.

\'Let my heart out? Is it possible?\'

I looked at the cat on my lap. It was sleeping peacefully. It was true that sometimes I felt very stuffy inside. Perhaps it was because I was keeping my thoughts to myself and pressured myself unnecessarily. Then should I try getting close to this cat and talk to it?

"Will you be my best friend then, little kitty? Let\'s try to get along, okay?"


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